Breaking up - The How Not To

You know when you see your significant other approaching you. That same old familiar feeling hits your stomach just the same as it does when you see a car crash happening seconds before it actually does. You can tell that the infamous break up speech is soon to come and one of you will have bad feelings about the whole situation. This feeling can go on forever.

You can still remember meeting that wonderful person just last year. The waiting in-between date nights seemed like it took forever. You both brought out the best in one another from her cuteness to his humor. You liked all the same things and the whole world was made of music and gumballs. Then, evil and heartache crept it, somewhere between the falling in love stage and the like you stage. The tulips wilted in the moonlight. The romance wilted. Just the sound of his voice makes you want to scream at times. The way she crinkles her nose reminds you of Mrs. Piggy and sex is non-existent.

It’s believed that in every relationship, there’s at least one time where someone considers The Break Up. Most concentrate on the How and Why things went south but it's very rare to find someone that's really considering the Fix. Of course, it is important to figure out what happened. But don't waste your time dissecting it and putting it under a microscope. Knowing how to fix things is the most important factor.

There are 3 Fix Methods Doomed to Fail:

1. The Stubborn and Prideful Method
Why does it have to be me that changes? Why should all the work done in this relationship be done by me? This way of thinking will definitely make sure that nobody makes a change and one person plays the role of the victim. This puts the couple against each other.

2. A Mexican Stand-Off
If he would go to counseling, then I'll go. I'll quit when she does. This will certainly ensure that both people are miserable if the relationship continues and no matter who breaks their stare, breaking up is certain.

3. The Bait-and-Switch
You'll change if you love me. In this method, all responsibility is taken off of the message sender and is projected onto the one who will end up thinking, "Why do I have to change if you say you love me?"?

The real method that actually works, is so simple that it even sounds a bit like an old cliché. You can only work on YOU and no one else. The relationship has pulled you in and you're lost. The relationship overshadowed you and you’re stagnant in the cesspool of denial and hatred. But, you can change all that!

First and most importantly, remember the YOU that existed before the relationship. That is the person he/she fell for. It wasn't because you picked up after yourself or were awesome at remembering anniversaries. But because you used to be a great YOU.

Next, let go of all that negativity. Forgive and forget is an important statement that needs to be learned. It is the key. Believe me, once you have worked on you, things will be much easier. You can go right back toward the place of negative thoughts and words if you end up arguing and being hurtful toward one another. Before you try to save the remains of your relationship, ask yourself this: Do you say anything NEW? Do you really just play the same song in a different location.

Last but not least, execute! However, make sure that you are making the changes for you and only you! Keep this in mind, you simply cannot keep pretending to be a person that you are not. When you do pretend or if you aren't doing it for yourself but for your partner, then it's not going to work. Fortunately for you, you can start immediately.

You will begin to see remarkable changes in your romantic life and it should be an almost overnight change. You will be seen by your partner as the person they first met. And, you will be busy just being you. Breaking up will no longer be the answer.

The Magic Of Making Up – Should I Get Together With My Ex Boyfriend?

If you read any agony aunt columns you may often see a letter titled “should I get back together with my ex boyfriend”. The answer’s always; “It depends!”.

According to Magic Of Making Up, it depends on your age, how long you were together, why you split up and eventually what both of you need.

What does age have to do with it? Some folk met their first love in their early teens and become convinced that this is the only person in the world that matters. For some it works out very well and years after they’re celebrating their Golden jubilee. But for most of us, our keen young infatuations aren’t real love and we go on to meet our true soul mates. So if you’re really young and have just split up with your first boyfriend, you should potentially try dating another boys first to see whether Mr Ex is actually Frog Prince versus Mr Right now. If you have dated a ton of men and this man is your ideal mate, then you need to make each effort to get back together with him.  

According to the Magic Of Making Up, how long you were together will also play a role in whether you need to make up or not. A pair who have been together two weeks do not know one another that well regardless of what they may think. The sexual attraction between couples in the initial stages of a romance can frequently blind you to the fact that your partner isn’t an applicant for a lifetime happy relationship. Emotions run very high in the early days and you could end up splitting up on a scheduled basis. If this is the case, it is commonly a sign that there’s no future for you at about that point in time.  

If you’ve been together for a while you may have split up because you have taken each other for granted. Couples drift apart as life gets in the way. You regularly find that you spend more quality time with your neighbors and friends than you do with your serious other. Sickness, stress and finance troubles can also play a part. If you have been together forever and have suddenly split up, then you should make each effort to sit down and debate your relationship to see is it worth saving. Sometimes, sadly it’s not but at least you will know that you made each effort.  

Why you split up will partially determine whether you need to get back together or not, says the Magic Of Making Up. If you and you ex hubby have split due to a silly misunderstanding then you need to try getting back together. It is pointless letting your pride prevent you from exclaiming sorry if you acted childishly. If on the other hand you have split up due to lies, deceit, crime or an affair, the choice to get back together is more difficult.  

Eventually it is dependent on what both of you need. You cannot force somebody else to love you even if you do resort to emotional blackmail. Pronouncing i want to get back along with my ex is simply achievable if he also wants this to happen.

Further reading: Review of Magic Of Making Up

Road for Healing After a Breakup

After a breakup, your emotions seems upside down.As with any type of change, we may feel empty and lost.Commonly, breakups will make us feel sad.

Feeling down or depressed doesn’t have to be a long drawn out time.In reality, you still have a good probability of getting back together with your ex.You can still work it out if you’re the only one prepared to give it a chance.

To start, we need to examine the first stage  of the breakup.Later on, we will ba visiting helpful strategies on how toe save you relationship.

Keeping Busy

Keeping yourself busy is your first line of protection after your destructive breakup.It’s a critical moment to keep your mind busy from thoughts of your ex.You must try to adhere to this rule after a breakup.Having your mind occupied can help out so much in your thereputic process.

Now is a great time to try something new like weight lifting or hobby.You’re open to do what you want. Take a friend with you and share the experience.As the old saying goes, Enjoy the Day! Carpe Diem.

Get Up and Get Out

After a breakup, its very common for people to get very anti-social and sleeping in.The issue is that you might take on a habit of being a hermit if you don’t change.You mind and body will be able to function better through movement and training.

You’ll have to important benefits if you start working out.First of all, you will be getting healthier.Secondly, you will feel better about yourself.As a result, you will have more confidence when you start getting back in the dating scene.

Expressing Yourself and Your Emotions

By now, you should start seeking your support system.Choose people that you can rely on and are open to listening to you.They are there to help you get through this tough time and be there to see you to the other side.Being able to vent your emotions is an important step to your recovery.Your friends and family can help you review the stages of a breakup and resolve the problems that lead up to this.

Plus, you will be able to pinpoint your mistakes of the past and learn how to handle them in the future.It will help you if you choose to get back with your ex.

Win Your Ex Back.

Commonly, people try to reason with their ex that a big mistake was made by breaking up with them.They make an effort to make their ex be repentant for the decision of breaking up.This simply won’t work and it has not worked for a variety of reasons.

You have to fend off  your natural tendencies.because it simply won’t work because of human nature.You may wnat to be terrified but you just need to relax and breath for a second.There are many ways that you can get your ex to change their point of view about the breakup.

It may seem completely wrong and destructive, but that is soley the main reason why it works.The path is opposite to what most people think.