The Secrets to Approaching Women
January 1, 2010 by amabaddate
Filed under dating tips
As soon as you see the girl at the book store magazine section looking at Vogue magazine, you think she has the prettiest face you’ve ever seen. Her hair is dirty blonde. Her skin looks incredibly bright & super soft. Believe me, any guy would be on top of the world if he could get this girl.
But then you notice that fear deep down in your stomach.
U realize that even if you had balls and went for it, you wouldn’t have a clue what to say to the girl. You feel so nervous and dumb that even you would totally shoot yourself down if you were the girl. Because of this, you get so shy and don’t even go up to her to say hi, you just walk away.
Does this situation sound remotely familiar to you? I thought so. You’re gonna wanna read the rest of this lesson. You might also want to check out this great website that will give you a step by step system for losing your fear of approaching women in 30 days or less, click here now to see the system.
The first thing to realize is each guy has a degree of fear with approaching women. I know I always have.
But what separates you (and I) from the rest of the dudes is………..
What You Do About Your Fear.
The majority of guys let their fear control them… not just about hot girls, but about other things in their life like their job… which is exactly the reason most guys will never find that success that they really want.
1st, take a look at where your fear comes from. The real issue is found within you. It’s not with the girls.
If you are thinking about getting rejected, then that means you are making your approaches with a certain outcome in mind (I’m just speculating, but I believe if you’re like most men, your ultimate goal is getting hot girls attracted to you so that you can get them back to your place
Try this technique instead….. go up to her without expecting anything.
I’m gonna tell you about a problem I used to have. I’m kind of an introvert.
To overcome my shyness, I would force myself to chat with anyone, it didn’t matter who they were…… hot chicks, fat chicks, ugly chicks, old women, men, little kids, random people walking dogs, etc etc.
I chatted about neutral topics with everyone, nothing at all to do with picking up girls.
The end result from all of that was I became super excellent at approaching people.
But after that, I made a big mistake. I said to myself, “Because I’m so awesome at approaching people and have become a social guy, why am I wasting time chatting to anyone other than hot girls?”
Because of this, I limited the people I talked to… & my fear of talking to strange women took control of me once again. It was as if I’d never had all that practice talking up random people in the 1st place.
I finally realized it was because I was outcome-dependent. Because I had ideas like “I’m going to try to sleep with this girl” in my head….. before I’d even open my mouth to say “hello”…. and so I would totally blow out. It was terrible.
I really want you to try this out. Anytime you’re out, chat with three people, and only do it for practice. Don’t do it for real.
Because it’s just for practice, don’t limit yourself to just talking to hot girls. In general, I’ve found that old people (both men and women) and fat girls are easy to talk to.
Set up a time limit for your practice interactions, for instance, you’ll talk to the person for thirty seconds and then you’ll leave the conversation. (Say something like, “Hey, I’m on my way to meeting a buddy. Good talking with u.” And the exit and don’t make an issue of it.)
Once you’ve done your practices and feel pretty good, then you can go for hot girls. Just get it done without thinking anything sex related is going to happen. For example, if a hot girl passes by you on a walkway, just say, “Hi, I need a super quick female opinion on something.” (Then ask a question that you sincerely need a woman’s opinion on.)
Follwo this Rule: have no outcome in mind. Then it totally doesn’t make a difference if the woman is rude.
Once you reach a point where you’ve talked to lots of women, you’ll find that eventually rude replys mean absolutely nothing. You’ll have an attitude of “ha, how original… Lots of women have given me that same “oh clever” mean reply.”
I’ve been rejected tremendously, over and over again. One woman screamed “Go away!” at me before I could even say a word.
Now I just look back on all of that and chuckle.
The point is that the more you approach, the more you’ll reach a level where you notice that most people act in the same, predictable ways. It will actually make you bored rather than cause you panic or feel fear or anxiety.
Just think of it as trying to build a big house. First you put down one brick at a time and then cement it. Brick, cement. Brick, cement. It takes a bit of time, but eventually, the walls will be up (which means you’ve finished the hard part).
If you want to get psychological, you can’t really “be nervous.” You don’t “get nervous,” like it’s some kind of virus or cancer that invades your body.
All the feelings of nervousness come from within you. You have a certain mental process that you go through. You talk to yourself. (When you think thoughts like, “I would reject myself,” it sets you up to fail!) You see in your mind these women rejecting you. You feel stiffness in your body.
How can you stop thinking like this? Identify it for what it is.
Notice your negative thoughts and change them. Besides imagining, “I bet this chick is goint to be bitchy towards me because I didn’t say the perfect line”… think, “I’m glad that I’m making this approach, because if this girl rejects me, that means I’ve gotten her out of the way and I’m one step closer to becoming super good with women and finding the girl of my dreams.”
Notice where you feel tight in your body, and then let ur muscles totally relax in those areas. I feel tight in my jaw and face when I’m nervous. So when I relax my jaw and facial muscles, it fixes a lot of that tension.
We’ll end the lesson with this advice:
A) Be social for the sake of being social. Nothing else.
B) Remember that the only way to get over your anxiety is by doing the thing you fear. The more often you do it, the simpler it gets, because your attitude about the experiences will become, “Been there, done that, it’s no big deal.”
C) Recognize your bad thoughts and force yourself to replace them with good ones.
D) Relax the physical tension you have in your body when you feel nervous.
These tips were compliments of http://www.destroyapproachanxiety.com, a step by step system that will show you how to lose all your fear of approaching women in 30 days or less.


