Your Most Burning Questions about Finding Love

Nanette Geiger, Law of Attraction Relationship Specialist, writes… …

I’m frequently asked how to find love when there’s been so much failure in the past. I thought I’d share some of the frequently asked questions and the Universal Law of Attraction model answer.

1. I’m in my mid-40′s. I’m just about to give up on love. If I haven’t met a good one by now, will it ever happen?

If you can desire it, you can achieve it. Find out what belief you have, what story you’re telling yourself that’s not true and make it your business to shift that belief.

Consider the Universe is a gigantic intention fulfillment machine. When you ask, and it’s not coming, you have a dominant belief or vibration about it being difficult. You have a lingering belief in not being worthy, or that something else is wrong with you. Look for whatever that limiting belief is and work with a coach to soften and shift that belief. Read how to bridge a belief in the Resources section on www.nanettegeiger.com.

2. How do I bring in the certainty in receiving? That is an excellent question! And I believe that it is the foundational piece that most of us need to work on. How do you work on the positive expectancy, the believing, knowing, the certainty? One of the very best ways is to work with the ‘feeling state’ as much as possible. Every day, several times per day.

Play with the energy of make believe and feel it as real. How will you feel when… … the love of your life comes to stay … you plan a fun weekend getaway for her … you hold hands and tell jokes … you sing songs in the car on a road trip etc., etc. You get the idea. This will move your vibration into the state of allowing because you’re acting AS-IF it’s already so.

Dating Consciously – Poise and Confidence Are Big Hitters

Nanette Geiger, Law of Attraction Relationship Specialist, writes… …

Here are some dating tips and insights to help you get back into the game, especially if you’re dating after divorce. In the last of our series on Dating Consciously, “

Looks Aren’t Everything,” let’s talk about the all important external part of appearance. Here are the results from a survey taken by a popular dating. Choose the most important features of a partner

• Personality 30%
• Sense of Humor 14%
• Smile 12%
• Looks 11%
• Eyes 10%
• Hair 7%
• Education 7%
• Physique 5%
• Career 3%
• Popularity 0%

Personality ranked Number 1 by a long shot!

What does that say about a person? What’s clearly established here is that it’s not a physical attribute at all, but an internal one.

Appearance is often categorized as an external representation of a person. Personality, self-confidence, an engaging attitude, warmth and authenticity are the traits that win out over Physical Appearance. So many of us are hung up on physical appearance, we get stopped before we get started.

What are characteristics of personality? Confidence. The ability to communicate openly in a easy and engaging manner. What are inherent traits of self-confidence?

1. Knowing what you want.

2. Feeling assured that what you want is within your reach.

3. Knowing you’re worthy of what you want.

4. Under most circumstances you remain non-plussed.

What I’m pointing to is the non-physical aspects of ‘Personality’. An engaging personality has little to do with physical appearance. Many people I know getting back into the dating game get stopped with the externals of the game.

The internal dialog stops you from ever getting back into circulation: “I’m no longer a spring chicken,”"I can’t compete with the hotties,”"The singles scene seems so superficial.”

Putting your best foot forward, being ready to shine, always having a ready, genuine smile, are the winners of the day. You can meet Mr. or Ms. Right in the grocery store, at church, on a walk, anywhere. Don’t limit yourself by what others are saying.

From the perspective of a Law of Attraction Coach, the essence of what you emanate is attracted or drawn right back to you. If that’s so, (and it IS) doesn’t it makes sense to get dressed with a smile before you go out of the house? It becomes a matter of practicing the traits of self-confidence; being clear about what you want, the ability to have it, knowing your worthy of what you want, and being calmly expectant that the timing is all in perfect order.

“To be in the Dating Consciously mode, you need to ENERGETICALLY dress for success”.

To win the dating game, you want to remember it’s your choice. So choose it to be fun.

Why not write a little summary of an after-the-fact successful date. Write as though the date already happened and you’re really pleased with the outcome. If you don’t have any dating prospects, script a pleasant outcome from a trip to the library or coffee shop. You’re creating your entire life by your beliefs and your thoughts, so why not get creative and deliberate about it. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Your enjoyment of life is directly related to how you perceive every event, situation or outcome. It’s not always easy to see that our interpretation of an event is what makes it good or bad. Empower yourself by taking 100% responsibility for your joy and self-expression. Nobody else has the power to make you feel bad or good, for that matter. It’s always an inside job.

Remember, dating is a game. Relationships are a game. Games are meant to be fun and a win-win for everyone! And remember to enjoy the journey.

 

Deliberate Dating, Mature and Conscious Dating

Nanette Geiger, Law of Attraction RelationshipExpert, writes… …

Lots of people get back into the dating game with trepidation. In the first installment of Dating Consciously, the dating advice I shared was I asked … “What if I could show you how to clarify your objectives before you wade through the muck and mire of the dating scene”? I also said that “Your thoughts create your reality and if that’s so, wouldn’t you like to know what’s keeping you from having fun and success in dating?”

In Part Two, I’ll go more deeply into the aspects of The Game that’s supposed to be fun with no losers. Play with Passion and Purpose. Dating is a game you can re-write the rules at any time. To play the Dating Consciously game, you need to know that:

1. You are playing a game

2. You willingly remember that it’s going to be fun (because you created it as a game for that purpose), and

3. There are only winners

Remeber when you played tag or hide and seek? You could play for hours and hours. Simple, and sheer innocence. Try to access that innocence just for a moment right now.

Where did it go? In the previous paragraph notice how quickly it returned – if just for a moment – but it did return! You create that kind of ease and joy by simply remember it into being. You pretend it into existence, you play it into reality for the sake of playing. And guess what? Your energy shifts so quickly to that light and high vibration, that unless you negate it with old patterns, you become very attractive. You become a magnet to your desires.

The 2 Biggest Stoppers to Dating Consciously

1. Fear of failure/rejection

2. Fear of looking bad/not enough

1. Fear of failuse is a common experience Try on innocence and play full out. Just try it and see how different it feels. Nobody is out to take something from you that you’re not willing to give.] Certainly, there may be different expectations from your date. There’s nothing wrong with that. Simply and clear communication can handle that. Believe me, you’re going to have different expections and points of compatibility. If you didn’t, you’d get awfully bored of that person in a very short period of time. If you decide that you only wanted one play date, so be it. There’s no inherent rejection involved. It’s just a choice on how you or he/she prefers to spend their time. It’s just a choice not a rejection.

2. Do you feel ‘less than’?

Your internal dialog is “I’m not thin enough”, “I’m not rich enough”, you know those stories.. Consider that at the core, everyone has that ancient internal conversation, too. Most everyone at times feels low in self-confidence. You’re not alone here.

Do your best to remain present and on your purpose is to have fun. Think of it as an exploration. “What’s something new can I learn about myself or my date?” Now you’ve just paved an energetic pathway for your date.

Playing a game is a very differnt approach to dating. Play with passion, play full out. Purpose means deliberating intending what you’re up to. The bottom line is HAVE FUN.

The vibration of FUN is one of the highest around. Laugh and have fun. You’ll become a magnet for fun people and if you keep practicing that, eventually you’ll attract the perfect fun mate.

You can learn these tools and more with Relationship Coaching. Dating, like life, if approached as a fun game where there are no losers goes much more smoothly for everyone.

Are You Ready To Get Back Into the Dating Game?

Nanette Geiger, Law of Attraction Relationship Advisor, writes… …

Are you tired of wading through one date after another to find Mr. or Ms. Right? If you’re dating after divorce and it’s time to get back into the mainstream again, Then you’re probably not dating just for the fun of it. In other words, it’s not a sport or a hobby for you. Most likely you’re looking for some meaningful contact with another like-minded individual. Someone with whom you can share good conversation, fun activities and match up on a number of similar interests.

Whether you’ve just ended a long term relationship, are seeking your soulmate, or are tired of browsing the on-line dating sites, it’s time you consider dating consciously.

What if I could show you how to clarify your objectives and intentions before you wade through the muck and mire of the dating scene

Your thoughts create your reality – so wouldn’t you like to know what’s really behind those pesky thoughts that keep you going through dates like the proverbial ‘revolving door’?

How about getting to the meat of the issue, creating a fun game around dating and then get the outcome you’re after — to find a really fun and loving relationship.

Does any of this sound good to you?

Of course it does!

I’ve encapsulated my tried and true Law of Attraction approach of winning the dating game. It’s called Dating Consciously. Just for the fun of it I’ve designed a 3 Part Series on Dating Consciously designed to get you moving in the higher vibration of getting what you really want, whether that’s having fun dating or attracting a fun and loving relationship.

In the first of this Dating Consciously Series I’d like to address “The Game” portion of The Dating Game. Dating is a GAME!

First, let’s define the word GAME…

1. Game:An amusement or pastime.

2. Game: An activity where you compete involving skill, chance, or endurance on the part of two or more persons who play according to a set of rules, usually for their own amusement or for that of spectators.

The second definition sums up the way most of us feel about dating.

But, if it’s not fun, why do it?

For many, the second definition kills the joy and has you sitting on the sofa Saturday nights. Those elements are:

Competitive activity, Skill, Chance, Endurance and Rules. These are definite fun-busters!

Interestingly enough, these are the things to AVOID when dating.

FIVE Things To DO When Dating

1. Play. Though this may sound simple, I’ll bet you don’t approach dating as play. Remember when you were the innocent kid playing in the mud? How sublime was that? No place to go, nothing to prove. Just pure fun! If your date is the somber type, make it your priority to have fun. Make it your game to find fun. You don’t have to see them again if they’re no fun.

2. Laugh. A cousin of play, laughter is the most infectious way to spread joy. Before going on any date, especially a first date, remind yourself that you will deliberately find ways to feel good and laugh. You’re not fully dressed unless you wear a smile. Just smile for no reason.

3. Listen. This is such an important way to connect with your date. Deep listening is when you shut off the voices in your head and tune in to what the person across the table is saying. Granted, your critical voice may be wanting to sound off for a variety of reasons. You don’t like the way he slurps his soup. She constantly plays with her hair. Things like that can be distractions. Just notice yourself being distracted and bring yourself back. Again, you don’t have to see them again. Being present is important and will go a long way in building intimacy later on. Adopt this quality in your long term relationships by practicing now. By the way, you don’t have to use listening just in the dating world

4. Eye Contact. Don’t just make eye contact and nod your head. Practice deep listening while making eye contact. This is a wonderful display of your own generosity. And I can promise you, your generosity will come back to you.

5. Communicate. When it’s your time to talk, be clear and be heard. As you have given your attention to your date, expect the same. You haven’t interrupted him or her while he or she has been talking. If an interruption occurs, ask for the same manners. You can be polite and kind about this without turning it into a problem. Ask for what you want and chances are, you’ll get it. Feeling confident in your request takes alot of pressure off your date. You leave them firmly knowing what you prefer.

Whether you’re in your 20′s or 70′s, dating – just like life – if approached as a fun game, where there are no losers, goes much more smoothly for everyone.

First, let’s define the word GAME…

1. Game:An amusement or pastime.

2. Game: A competitive activity involving skill, chance, or endurance on the part of two or more persons who play according to a set of rules, usually for their own amusement or for that of spectators.

The second definition sums up the way most of us feel about dating.

But, if it’s not fun, something is out of alignment.

For many, the latter definition contains elements that take the FUN right out of the pursuit of dating. Those elements are:

Competitive activity, Skill, Chance, Endurance and Rules. These are definite fun-busters!

Interestingly enough, these are the things to AVOID when dating.

FIVE Dating Do’s

1. Play. Simple as it may seem, most people don’t think of dating as play. Remember when you were the innocent kid playing in the mud? How sublime was that? No place to go, nothing to prove. Just pure fun! If your date is the somber type, make it your priority to have fun. Make it your game to find fun. You don’t have to see them again if they aren’t playful.

2. Laugh. A cousin of play, laughter is very contagious. Before going on any date, especially a first date, remind yourself that you will deliberately find ways to feel good and laugh. Don’t go out without your smile. Just smile for no reason.

3. Listen. This is such an important way to connect with your date. Deep listening is when you shut off the voices in your head and tune in to what the person across the table is saying. Granted, your critical voice may be wanting to sound off for a variety of reasons. She’s got a nervous giggle. He makes noise when he eats. Things like that can be distractions. Just notice yourself being distracted and bring yourself back. Don’t worry, you never have to go on a second date. This is an important practice, however, and it is an intimacy builder. Adopt this quality in your long term relationships by practicing now. By the way, you don’t have to use listening just in the dating world

4. Eye Contact. Don’t just make eye contact and nod your head. Practice deep listening while making eye contact. This is a wonderful display of your own generosity. And I can promise you, your generosity will come back to you.

5. Communicate. When it’s your turn to share, confidently offer your ideas. Expect the same attention. Ask for the same attention, if you’re not getting it. If an interruption occurs, ask for the same manners. You can be polite and kind about this without turning it into a problem. Ask for what you want and chances are, you’ll get it. Feeling confident in your request takes alot of pressure off your date. You leave them firmly knowing what you prefer.

It doesn’t matter if your 25 or 75, dating – just like life – if approached as a fun game, where there are no losers, goes much more smoothly for everyone.

Relationship Advice for Real Men

Nanette Geiger, Law of Attraction Relationship Coach, writes… Contrary to popular love advice that’s out there in cyberspace, asking your potential mate a series of interview questions is one sure-fire way to make a bad first impression and have her looking for the door.

Seriously, put yourself in someone else’s shoes, if they asked you questions that you’d expect to hear on a job interview. Would that put YOU at ease? I don’t think so. The relationship advice you get from a woman’s point of view, may not work from a man’s perspective. From a man’s point of view, a real woman is a woman who can communicate about what she wants and how she feels.

It’s more commonplace these days for a real man to speak her mind and communicate openly from his heart. The ability to openly communicate is a valuable trait and a turn on for most women.

Whether you’re looking for casual dating or your life partner, you must start from square one. For the best tips and Love Advice for Men the most important thing to know is what you want.

1. Knowing What You Want

What qualities in your date or mate are you looking for? Get clear about what those traits are and you’ll have an easier time knowing when you meet her. Is he funny, does he think you’re funny? Is it important to you that she likes sports? Is he interesting, well-travelled? What about sports, hobbies, politics, or food?

When you know what you want you can start sampling from what you encounter in the world or in the relationships of your friends. What do you admire about the friends who have successful relationships? What are the elements that turn you off in other peoples’ relationships? When you’re not afraid to get clear and be straight about what you want, trust me, you’ll be much more able to know when you’ve encountered Ms. Right.

2. Be Flexible

When you’re flexible about how, when or who shows up, you remain open more possibility and how much easier it is to attract the right one. I’m not suggesting that you compromise or settle for less. I’m suggesting that you stay curious about ‘what if he’s even better than I can imagine?’ Be open to getting more than you asked for. That’s what happened for me. I got clear about what I wanted and I stopped listening to everyone else about how hard it was to meet eligible partners.

3. Let Go of the HOW

When you let go of the “way it’s supposed to happen” you allow the universe to works its magic. Though that may sound Woo-Woo, the truth is when you have a firm opinion about “HOW it supposed to be,” you limit yourself. You’re also resisting what you want, which hinders your magnetic attraction.

4. “BE” the Person You’d Like to Meet

That’s right. You got clear on the qualities and values you want in your lover. Now the question is, “are you anything like the person you’d like to meet”? I hope so. If not, you know what you have to do. Become like the person you want to meet. Then you’ll be a much greater match for your sweetie.

When you’re in the seeking mode, it’s much easier to find them when you are really clear on you want. So get clear, go with the flow and be the kind of person you want to meet.