Breaking up - The How Not To

You know when you see your significant other approaching you. That same old familiar feeling hits your stomach just the same as it does when you see a car crash happening seconds before it actually does. You can tell that the infamous break up speech is soon to come and one of you will have bad feelings about the whole situation. This feeling can go on forever.

You can still remember meeting that wonderful person just last year. The waiting in-between date nights seemed like it took forever. You both brought out the best in one another from her cuteness to his humor. You liked all the same things and the whole world was made of music and gumballs. Then, evil and heartache crept it, somewhere between the falling in love stage and the like you stage. The tulips wilted in the moonlight. The romance wilted. Just the sound of his voice makes you want to scream at times. The way she crinkles her nose reminds you of Mrs. Piggy and sex is non-existent.

It’s believed that in every relationship, there’s at least one time where someone considers The Break Up. Most concentrate on the How and Why things went south but it's very rare to find someone that's really considering the Fix. Of course, it is important to figure out what happened. But don't waste your time dissecting it and putting it under a microscope. Knowing how to fix things is the most important factor.

There are 3 Fix Methods Doomed to Fail:

1. The Stubborn and Prideful Method
Why does it have to be me that changes? Why should all the work done in this relationship be done by me? This way of thinking will definitely make sure that nobody makes a change and one person plays the role of the victim. This puts the couple against each other.

2. A Mexican Stand-Off
If he would go to counseling, then I'll go. I'll quit when she does. This will certainly ensure that both people are miserable if the relationship continues and no matter who breaks their stare, breaking up is certain.

3. The Bait-and-Switch
You'll change if you love me. In this method, all responsibility is taken off of the message sender and is projected onto the one who will end up thinking, "Why do I have to change if you say you love me?"?

The real method that actually works, is so simple that it even sounds a bit like an old cliché. You can only work on YOU and no one else. The relationship has pulled you in and you're lost. The relationship overshadowed you and you’re stagnant in the cesspool of denial and hatred. But, you can change all that!

First and most importantly, remember the YOU that existed before the relationship. That is the person he/she fell for. It wasn't because you picked up after yourself or were awesome at remembering anniversaries. But because you used to be a great YOU.

Next, let go of all that negativity. Forgive and forget is an important statement that needs to be learned. It is the key. Believe me, once you have worked on you, things will be much easier. You can go right back toward the place of negative thoughts and words if you end up arguing and being hurtful toward one another. Before you try to save the remains of your relationship, ask yourself this: Do you say anything NEW? Do you really just play the same song in a different location.

Last but not least, execute! However, make sure that you are making the changes for you and only you! Keep this in mind, you simply cannot keep pretending to be a person that you are not. When you do pretend or if you aren't doing it for yourself but for your partner, then it's not going to work. Fortunately for you, you can start immediately.

You will begin to see remarkable changes in your romantic life and it should be an almost overnight change. You will be seen by your partner as the person they first met. And, you will be busy just being you. Breaking up will no longer be the answer.